Your Stories

How young is young?

Read the story of Allia who struggle to get help because she was either too old to be considered a teen/young mum or too young to fit in what they call ‘normal’ mums groups.

I'm a mum of 2 gorgeous kids! Had my first 1month after my 21st birthday and my second when I was 24. You may now think 'right, she not a young mum but a grown adult, so why is she writing this? Well, I still consider myself as a young mum and I think everyone under the age of 25 with a child should be considered a young mum!

I left home at 19. No jobs, no house, no nothing except a boyfriend. I had to quit university to support myself and my boyfriend. That was a very dark period for me going into severe depression and having suicidal thoughts. That's when I thought I will apply to university again! A year later I found out I was pregnant and the day after I had received an offer from to study biomedical sciences. I was now 20, extremely vulnerable and didn't know the direction of my life and everything came at once when I was starting to feel like I was finally able to live the life I wanted! Don't get me wrong, when I found out I was pregnant that was my light under a very long tunnel but I seriously was confused! Everyone was telling me I couldn't go to university full time and take care of a kid at the same time; to everyone I was still a baby. Everybody else including me thought I was a baby, so why did the midwives or doctors not consider me as one? I hear now that teens have got their special midwifes helping and supporting them individually! God! that would have helped me too! I was just starting my life!! I needed support; I needed someone to tell me that returning to my studies was going to be ok in the midst of people telling me I couldn't do it! I needed emotional support someone to help me handle all the pressure of motherhood; I had no family support after I had my daughter or no friends who had babies. It would have been extremely helpful for me to have someone there to listen to me and knowing what I was talking about and a support network! Just because I was not a teen mum doesn't mean I didn't need support! I was just 21. And most mums at my age would have been at crossroads too! The age group of 21-25 is also a vulnerable group! We just finished education, we want to find jobs but we have a baby so we lose all that time of experience. At 25, most young mums might be trying to find a job and explaining that the long gap was due to having a child and so many employers avoid us! So isn't it vital that we receive continuous support and advice from professionals on however to balance our private and professional life without giving up one or the other?

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