Relationships

Common relationships issues

Research shows that many parents feel less satisfied with their relationship after a baby, at least in the short-term. This isn’t surprising, since both partners are probably tired, anxious and emotional – and they may be worried about a number of issues money, loss of freedom, and just generally overwhelmed by new responsibilities.


Here are some common problems in relationships.

Lost love

When you’re young and in love it seems like the perfect Cinderella fairytale even though you might not have the diamond shoe! Many young mums will probably say they wanted the perfect family, perhaps something they craved for themselves. Our first love unfortunately isn’t always the love of our life. Having said that, I do think we forget that love is just a verb that we have turned into a feeling, true love is an act that’s why as parents we really do love because we make sacrifices for our children, get up to care for them each day and protect them. So really if you want ‘love’ to last invest more in your relationship, give your partner more attention, make them feel needed and cared for, listen to them, support them and be a friend.


A new baby

Yes babies are amazing! You love your kids, but don’t forget to love your partner too.  Many relationships break down after the arrival of a new baby. Many parents, especially young parents find it hard to cope with all the added pressures that come with parenting, but not to worry because you are not alone. Talk to each other and share the load as much as possible so one person does not feel they have to take care of everything. But of course many young parents stay happy and enjoy their babies. However, if you find it difficult seek some help from your GP, a counsellor, or health visitor before your problems get out of hand. 


Intimacy

It can be quite hard to enjoy sex again after you’ve had a baby. If you find that it hurts be sure to talk to your partner about it or if you have lost interest all together you might want to consider sex therapy.


Could you need relationship therapy?

If you find that you and your partner are arguing about the stupidest things and these rows are quickly escalating into something nasty then you might be in need of couple therapy. It is not a sign of defeat to ask for help, it just shows that you care enough about your relationship to want to save it. If you can get over the hump of entering relationship therapy, the rewards are often greater than you could anticipate.


How much does it cost?

Free: Youth Access is an umbrella organisation for counselling centres all over the UK, and should be able to tell you if there is any free relationship counselling in your area. It’s always worth considering Brook as well, because although most of their work is about contraception and sex problems, they can sometimes help with relationship issues too, and this help is free.

Low-cost therapy: Relate, who are the main relationship agency, have a sliding scale of charges according to a client’s means usually between £5 and £40.

Private therapy: Obviously, if you go to a private therapist, you have a lot more choice of who you see and when. But you’re probably talking about shelling out at least £40 per hour and maybe a great deal more than that. You should also be wary about going to a general sort of counsellor.

Want more? Why not share your problem privately on our Youngmamas Facebook by sending us a message and we will post it as private post and you will get advice from other parents. See you there

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