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“Oh I am pregnant!”

What was your first reaction when you first found out you were pregnant? Here’s my story.

We had just returned from our Valentine’s Day dinner. I’d been feeling some sort of funny way for about a month now but I thought it was the stress from school or something. That made more sense than being pregnant. While at the restaurant my (then) boyfriend ordered his meal and I felt my belly turning like a horse out of control, I couldn’t bear the smell- and I can swear I could smell everything that night. Anyway, we decided to stop by Tesco to get a pregnancy test. I was as nervous as a bad singer about to appear on the XFactor. My boyfriend reassured me I couldn’t possibly be-“I would’ve noticed by now” he said. I went to the loo, emptied my bladder uncomfortably onto this weird life changing object and went down on my knees praying for the best.  Apparently heaven didn’t hear me properly when I said “please let it be negative” like twenty times. I looked at the test and it was right there, two lines they couldn’t have been any clearer. So I screamed “oh my God, how did this happen?” I can confirm that this was not God’s doing and I was certainly not the Virgin Mary and I knew exactly how it had happened. I simply had unprotected sex and thought I could get away with it just like that.

I wept and wept and wept some more. My (then) boyfriend held me and we instantly decided to keep our baby, I mean we were in love and we had both come from a fatherless household, we both had this idea of the perfect family which we had always wanted.  I was happy for a moment because he made me feel secure and I felt happy at the prospect of having my own little family, my child would have a mom and dad who love one another, unlike me.

My dad was never around, he ran away when I was born abandoning my mother at the age of sixteen years old. I am not sure if I have ever recovered but at times I feel having a child at seventeen years old was my way of filling that empty space in my life.
Apparently children (especially girls) born to teen mums also turn out to be young mums themselves. So please blame my mother! No please don’t.  In fact when I told my mother that her baby was going to have a baby she told me that she’ll be there no matter what, but of course I could sense her disappointment. She’d worked so hard throughout her life since I was born so that I could have a different path to hers. But in a way she has always been my role model, but that doesn’t go to say that my lifelong goal was to have a child while still at school. But I guess I didn’t prevent it either.

Cutting the long story short, I had a little boy named Given, he is the love of my life he gives me all the strength I would never have dreamed of having, he is beautiful, funny and intelligent…very stubborn too just like mummy. I am no longer with his dad, as you may have guessed already. Apparently this is the curse for young parents; we are apparently designed to break up with our baby fathers after our babies third birthdays. For me that was very accurate.  It turns out my dream family life was just what it was…just a dream. But the happiness and endless love I feel for my son is a real fairytale, the kick in the backside he gives me to push me to go grab my dreams is real. Guess what, I will find the love of my life but for now I am really enjoying being a single mother and a hardworking one too.

Comments   

#2 Juvin 2015-01-24 16:17
Thank you for reading and sharing.
#1 SlimQuick 2015-01-19 14:25
SlimQuick Well somehow I got to read lots of articles on your blog. It’s amazing how interesting it is for me to visit you very often

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